Fill in the blanks when it comes to why you hesitate to say “yes” to traveling solo or with a friend or friends…

✔️ I want to travel but my husbands is a couch potato.

✔️ I would love to travel solo but feel guilty for leaving my husband behind...

✔️ I’m uncomfortable spending money on me rather than us…

My husband and I both love to travel and over the decades have had the privilege to travel far and often.

However, in recent years things have changed.

Dang it just when I wanted to spend more time traveling my husband began hesitating.

He didn’t come outright and say no he doesn’t want to travel but see if you can relate.

- I was always the first to initiate a conversation around travel plans.

- His engagement was minimal and his responses were vague when it came to discussing any travel plans.

- The topic of that next trip would languish and just hang out there dying on the vine.

I doggedly continued down the path of planning trips together, ignoring what in hindsight were the obvious signals…

He just didn’t want to travel anymore!

Wow, even seeing that in print now is a little hard to swallow.

Facing the reality that your spouse for what turns out a number of reasons does or can no longer travel is HARD!

It’s like a grieving process.

Clearly I was in DENIAL as I kept pushing the “together travel agenda”.

I was ANGRY, dang it this was meant to be OUR TIME.

My vision for the future of what our life looked like was gone.

I tried the whole NEGOTIATING PROCESS, how about I spend 5 weeks in Mexico and you come for two?

And then I just became SAD, mourning the loss of what was no longer to be.

My ACCEPTANCE came when we had a heart to heart that traveling for him was increasingly difficult due to mobility issues and…

He also suffers from anxiety and depression so change is really difficult so the whole idea of new places, new situations having to navigate making changes on the fly when traveling had become too much.

And guess what I thought I was the only woman on the planet over the age of 50 facing this dilemma!

Turns out big surprise I am not!

So lets do a bit of a reality check.

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64% of travelers worldwide are female, while only 36% are male

The average U.S. traveler is a 47-year-old woman

At least 60% of the company’s solo travelers in 2022 were married but traveling without their spouse.

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Now isn’t that interesting turns out I and maybe you are not alone after all.

So what is the key to being able to say “YES” to traveling on your own.

Recognizing the following is huge in being able to get to that “lets say yes to solo travel”.

No. 1 You Have Different Interests

So even if you were to travel together maybe its difficult to come up with a location and activities that you will both enjoy. 

One of the healthiest things for any relationship is having the freedom and support from each other to pursue your own interests including time apart.

If hubby wants to spend more time on his golf swing, then have at her as they say. 

But equally, because we are talking a partnership here, your solo trip is your passion pursuit :-)

My husband is my biggest cheerleader when it comes to me taking off on a trip on my own.

No. 2 The Travel Budget 

One of the upsides of traveling solo is that it brings down the cost…

One meal instead of two.

I suspect ladies, like myself...

That you are more likely to skip the odd meal in favour of spending the day on other activities where hubby typically needs refueling.

Yes, you may incur a surcharge as a solo traveler when you are on a planned trip/tour.

But that is not the case if you are doing your own thing.

Its natural to hesitate at spending money on a trip, you see all those travel dollars in one hit.

But pause for a moment and take a look at this statistic...

The average golfer spends between $2,000 - $2,500 per year!

51% of women traveling solo plan to spend $3,000 or more per week on travel

Add up all those years of golfing and me thinks there are a few solo travel trips in the future for you!

Definitely food for thought or should I say dollars for your trip?😉

No. 3 Meeting Other People

I am a giant introvert but my husband takes the prize for “recluse”. 

When I travel solo I find myself more likely to engage in conversations and push myself to engage with others which...

Has led to some amazing conversations and new friendships.

So conversely to solo travel being a more isolated experience it has been quite the opposite.

No. 4 Traveling With others

Not all travel without hubby has to be solo travel.

The opportunity to travel with a friend or friends opened up once I accepted that hubby was no longer able to travel the way he used to.

And the opportunities seem endless once you let folks know you are up to travel with them…

To name a few:

🔹 Traveling with my best friend from the US

🔹 Traveling with my best friend from NZ and her husband who both still love to travel together and with others

🔹 Traveling with friends, I have increasingly gone on “girls trips with a couple of friends”

🔹 Traveling to events, I am interested in like personal development and entrepreneurial masterminds and retreats

And the list goes on…

No. 5 The Opportunity To Learn And Grow

While we always learn new things when traveling the opportunity for new experiences and growth seem to amplify when traveling solo.

Maybe its having that time on our own to just “BE”.

Or...

Because we are traveling solo we can spend the time lingering over that piece of art or amazing vista because we are on “our time” and...

Not having to worry about moving on because our partner is getting restless.

And there is just a great feeling of “I did this”!

The satisfaction and joy from having done something on your own just for you is an amazing experience in its own right….

Remember “You deserve this”!

No. 6 Creating Memories, Experiences To Share

In No. 1 I talked about both respecting, encouraging and supporting each other in our separate pursuits.

I find it ironic that when I travel I struggle to get my husband off Facetime or a call.

He seems to have so much more to say than when I am at home🤭

Likewise, its fun to be able to share what I have been doing for the day and have him ask me all kinds of questions about what I have seen and done.

No. 7 Space Is Good For A Relationship

Don't underestimate the benefit of spending time apart as a couple from time to time.

While its a running joke that hubby and I do not remember how many years we've been married and we've lost the marriage certificate 3 times and yes, it is currently MIA...

It's been over 3 decades and maybe even approach 4 yikes!

But here's the thing we've managed the marriage roller coaster of surviving and thriving by spending time apart.

My husband not only appreciate each other more when I am traveling solo and having those long Facetime calls but…

We genuinely miss each other when we are apart…

The old absence makes the heart grow fonder thing.

Call it what you will but it is definitely healthy for a relationship to have the space from each other from time to time.

Wrapping up…

So next time your phone dings and there’s a text message inviting you to a girls weekend in New York…

Or, you have the opportunity to go to a Mastermind with other like minded women, six months from now.

What’s will be your reaction?

Excitement quickly followed by hesitation or outright dismissal?

OR…

Excitement followed by anticipation👋👋👋

If you enjoyed this blog then you definitely want to check out my blog on 👉 "Why a 5-star hotel really is a must" and how you can make it happen.

Still looking for ideas, inspiration and just some good old fashioned experience?

Head on over to my YouTube channel:

Female Travelers Over 50 By Raewyn Crist: 👉@FemaleTravelers50Plus

And if you like what you see please consider subscribing to the channel or giving a video a like :-)

So cheers to wheels up to winging your way to your long dreamed of destination.