There’s a moment on almost every solo trip, usually within the first 24 to 48 hours, when it hits you:

That wave. That unexpected feeling.

Not of fear or regret, but a quiet, aching loneliness.

And here’s the thing, it’s completely normal.

You’ve finally arrived after weeks (maybe months) of planning. You’re that newly minted solo female traveler.

The anticipation has been building, and now here you are, suitcase in hand, heart wide open… and suddenly you feel like sobbing into your pillow. 

I know that feeling. I’ve been there more than once.

And I want you to know: it’s OK.

It doesn’t mean you’ve made the wrong decision.

It means you’re stretching. Growing. Stepping into something new.

The “Arrival Dip” Why The First Day Feels So Hard

For me, it usually shows up not long after I’ve checked into the hotel. 

The buzz of the airport fades, and I sit on the edge of the bed, surrounded by silence. 

I’m here. But suddenly, I feel a little… untethered.

Some of it is physical: jet lag, fatigue, dehydration. These things mess with your head and amplify emotion. 

But part of it is emotional too like that feeling when you were a kid and Christmas morning finally arrived after weeks of anticipation. 

All that build-up? Now it’s real. It’s a lot.

And for me, there’s also grief. I used to text my husband when I landed: “Made it through customs. Flight was good.” 

Now I send those messages to friends, sometimes more than on ;-).

Because making that connection back home, even just a few words…

Makes the world feel smaller again. Less foreign. More manageable.

Loneliness Is Not The Same As Being Alone

Being alone can be beautiful. Peaceful. Empowering.

It’s the freedom to wander wherever your heart takes you, sip coffee in silence, or change your plans on a whim without explanation.

But loneliness?

That’s different. It’s the ache of disconnection.

The feeling that the world has shifted and you’re not quite sure where you belong in it.

I think especially as women traveling solo over 50 we can be surprised by that feeling if we’re not prepared…

And it shows up especially in the first 24–48 hours of a solo trip.

 Your body is tired. Your nerves are frayed. The buzz of arriving has faded. And now your brain is whispering, “What am I even doing here?”

But here’s the beautiful truth: this passes. Truly, it does.

So much so here are the unexpected upsides of being a woman over 50 traveling solo 🙂

https://www.raewyncrist.com/blog/b/women-travel-over-50-upside-of-solo-travel

My First Brush With Loneliness: Cereal Aisles and Culture Shock

My very first solo trip was at the age of 17. 

I had never even been on a plane before when I left New Zealand to spend a year in the United States as an exchange student. 

I flew over 8,000 miles to live with a family I’d only ever exchanged snail mail letters with for a few months prior.

I still remember stepping off the bus on that hot, sticky summer day in the U.S. and thinking, everything feels so different. 

My amazing host mother took me to the supermarket to help me settle in. 

At the top of an aisle, she gently suggested I pick out a cereal I liked.

What she didn’t realize was back home in New Zealand, we had maybe four choices.

But this?

This was an entire aisle of cereals. Dozens and dozens of them. 

I stood there frozen, overwhelmed by the sheer too-muchness of it all. 

Later that day, I curled up in my new bedroom my home for the next year and quietly sobbed into my pillow.

It wasn’t sadness. It wasn’t homesickness. It was just OVERWHELM.

That same feeling many of us get the first day of solo travel.

The disorientation.

The pressure.

The loneliness.

Even Now... It Still Shows Up

Fast forward a few decades (cough, cough), and I still get hit by that wave though now I know it won’t last.

Not long ago, I returned to the island of Koh Samui in Thailand, this time for a four-week stay at Kamalaya, a beautiful health and wellness retreat. 

I’d been before and knew the layout, the vibe, the peace.

But 24 hours in, it hit me like a tsunami.

Loneliness.

Last time I had only stayed for a week.

This time, I was alone and staying much longer. 

My first instinct was to reach out so I FaceTimed my husband, who was still alive then. He calmly listened and gently reminded me:

“Remember why you are there.”

And that simple truth shifted everything.

Now that he’s passed, I still hear his words in my mind. And when I arrive somewhere new, I send my “I’ve arrived!” messages to girlfriends instead. 

It’s a small act but it brings the world closer, shrinks the distance, and reminds me that I’m not alone.

Oh and BTW if you’re curious here why I would spend 4 weeks in one location and one place… well here it is when it comes to wellness retreats:

https://www.raewyncrist.com/blog/b/women-travel-over-50-Wellness-Retreat-Kamalaya

MY Go-To Comforts And Connection Tricks

Over the years, I’ve learned a few ways to soften that first wave of loneliness that as a woman over 50 traveling solo you might be able to relate to:

🛌 Give yourself permission to rest. Don’t fight the fatigue. Let your body catch up. Sometimes I just curl up in bed with a downloaded episode of a favourite show something familiar that grounds me.

💬 Reach out. Text a friend. Send a photo. Let someone know you’ve arrived. The act of connecting shrinks the distance between “here” and “home.”

☕️ Do something easy. I always plan a simple first-day activity—nothing ambitious. A walk around the neighbourhood. A visit to a familiar chain like Starbucks (even though I’m not their biggest fan, sorry, not sorry!) or McDonalds. The goal isn’t to explore everything, it’s just to ease into the newness.

🚌 Take a tour with other travelers. A hop-on-hop-off bus tour is perfect. You’re moving, seeing the sights, and surrounded by others who are exploring too. Low pressure. High comfort.

🗣️ Stick to your own language at first. If this is your first solo trip, I often suggest choosing a destination where you speak the language. Being surrounded by unfamiliar words can heighten the sense of isolation until you find your rhythm.

🍱 Book a small group tour. Not a 60-person coach trip, but something intimate—a food tour, walking tour, or market visit. These create opportunities for casual connection without pressure.

It Will Pass And You'll Be So Glad You Came

The loneliness doesn’t last. Really, it doesn’t. 

Sometimes it’s gone after a nap, a shower, a good meal. 

Other times, it lingers a bit longer before dissolving into the joy of discovery.

But it always passes!

Solo travel is an incredible gift. 

It teaches you how to be with yourself, how to soothe yourself, how to rediscover your own rhythm.

Yes, there are hard moments especially if you’re new to being a solo woman traveler over 50…

But there are also breathtaking ones the kind that remind you just how capable and alive you are.

So if that wave of loneliness rolls in on your first night, take a deep breath and remember: it’s just a moment. 

Not a message. Not a mistake.

You’re not alone in feeling this way. And you're certainly not alone in this community.

You're Not Failing, You're Finding Your Way

For many women over 50 traveling solo for the first time, these waves of emotion can feel overwhelming but they’re also part of building confidence, independence, and healing. 

Solo travel, especially as a midlife woman, invites both freedom and rediscovery.

To the newly minted solo traveler: consider making your first trip somewhere that speaks your language. 

Navigating a foreign country where every sign and conversation feels unfamiliar can heighten that “outsider” feeling.

But most of all, know this:

Loneliness is not a red flag. It’s a reminder to pause, connect, and remember why you’re here.

Solo travel is about more than seeing the world.

It’s about seeing yourself your strength, your heart, your capacity to move through hard moments with grace.

You’re not alone in this journey.

And when the wave hits?

Take a breath, send a message home, eat the fries, take the tour, cry in the pillow if you need to then stand up, and remember:

You’re here for a reason. And you’re exactly where you need to be.

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So cheers to wheels up to winging your way on your next travel building lasting memories.